Listen to your partner
Real life situation: Susie comes home after a long hard day of putting up with her passive aggressive coworkers and her boss gave her crap for not getting everything done. She’s been bottling her emotions up all day at work and wants to spill the beans when she gets home. She pours out everything that went on today without taking a breath.
What are the proper responses?
- Tell her you worked overtime today and Trevor got fired
- Give her a big hug and say, “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
- Listen actively and show some concern
- Tell her she should find a new job.
Real life situation: Peggy has been feeling down lately so Robert tries to brainstorm things that he can do to make her feel better. He decides to clean the entire house but when Peggy gets home she’s still miserable and does not show her appreciation for all of the hard work he went through. Robert gives up after this and decides he’s not even going to try anymore because he feels like putting in the effort isn’t worth it. Peggy’s top 2 love languages are physical touch and quality time. If Robert knew this all he would have had to do is go for a walk holding Peggy’s hand, give her a hug and spend some 1-on-1 time with her. He thinks he’s done all he can but he was focusing his energy showing love in a language Peggy doesn’t understand.
Transparency in relationships
Real life situation: George has been craving pizza all day. He gets home and asks Lisa, “What do you want to eat for dinner?” Lisa says, “Doesn’t matter to me, I was thinking we could get groceries.” Unsatisfied with this response, George starts to get moody and puts up a fuss about doing groceries. Lisa just thinks George is being a dick so she goes to get groceries herself and George stays at home, craving pizza and getting hangry. She brings home everything except for pizza, George is miserable the rest of the night and then says something he didn’t mean. Now Lisa is miserable. George should have just said he wanted pizza. Don’t be like George.
Walking to blow off steam
Email about sensitive issues
Loving and taking care of yourself
Maintain your identity and relationship
Please share this with your partner or on facebook and comment below if you have anything to add.
Dr Justin Gallant ND